Razor Blades and Sunflower Seed Casserole
by SamManson
Summary: After a tragic accident occurs that leaves Theodore paralyzed from the waist down, the three brothers' relationship is about to take a dark turn. A depressive Alvin blames himself for the incident and decides to run away, worrying his family. Parody.
1. My Immortal

**Uhh... hi. Me and my sister are at it again. C:**

**Don't take this seriously, even though it's written pretty... srs.**

**AND IF IT REMINDS YOU OF ANY OTHER A&TC FANFICTIONS IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE -shiftyeyes-**

**...but seriously though, we've read some... silly Alvin and the Chipmunks fanfictions before. They inspired us.**

**We love Alvin and the Chipmunks by the way. We seriously are fans. :'C DON'T HATE**

**We don't own Alvin and the Chipmunks. Obviously.**

**Lyrics belong to Evanescenesfklasf however you spell it  
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Alvin looked out his window, a small tear forming at the corner of his eye.

"Why…. Why did I run Theodore's legs over?" he choked, an image of his crippled brother flashing through his mind. He winced in pain at the thought.

"Al… what are you doing upstairs?" Simon, Alvin's hotter, nerdy brother asked with concern in his tone. He slowly advanced into the dark room where his sibling sat before a large window.

Alvin tensed at the sound of his brother's voice, snatching the small, sharp metallic razor from his pocket, stuffing it behind a nearby pillow. He clutched his sleeve, giving a small wince as pain shot through his wrist. It was a good thing that his shirt was already red…

Simon looked over at his brother; moonlight from outside reflecting upon his glasses. He frowned.

"Dude. I'm worried about you. You've been… going downhill ever since… the accident." Simon said hesitantly. He was afraid he may be treading into dangerous waters upon mentioning the incident that seemed to be haunting Alvin for months now.

Alvin's eyes narrowed. "I thought we agreed to never talk about that, Si…"

Simon sighed lightly, shaking his head. "Yes… of course. I forgot you hate living in the past…"

Alvin glared. "And WHAT, pray tell, is THAT supposed to mean?" His fingers lightly prodded the razor beneath the pillow next to him.

Simon leered. "Don't give me your attitude, dude. What's done is done. But you know that no one blames you for what—"

"—SHUT UP!" Alvin hissed, bolting to his feet. "IT NEVER…. It… never…" his voice was low and shallow as slight sobs began to escape his vocals. "It never…. Happened…"

Simon, eyes wide with terror, backed away slightly. "Dude… calm down." His eyes glanced over at Alvin's raised hand, a gleam of light catching his eye.

"Al… what…" Simon's eyes strained to focus on the small object that Alvin clasped above his head. "Is that…" A shot of realization shot through Simon as his abundant knowledge finally decided to kick in. "ALVIN ROBERT SEVILLE!" Simon growled, lunging at his brother's hand and quickly snatching the blood-soaked razor from his fingers. "YOU WERE CUTTING YOURSELF AGAIN!!"

Alvin lowered his baseball cap, his face becoming dark and obscured. "Heh…. You don't understand. Nobody understands the pain I'm going through… _Nobody_…"

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears…_

_You scream, I'd fight away all of your fears._

_I held your hand through all of these years._

_And you still have…_

_Part of me._

Alvin lifted his head slightly, giving his brother a blank stare.

"I need to go now, Si. Don't try and stop me. I'll never forgive you."

Simon's mouth opened to protest, but he stopped, shaking his head.

"Fine then. Go. Go run away from your problems instead of facing them. You seem to be best at doing that…"

Alvin's fist shot into Simon's stomach. Simon gasped, the wind being knocked out of him.

"_Don't_…_ ever_… tell me what to do…" Alvin breathed dangerously, his blue eyes boring into his brother's.

Simon gave a small chuckle, spitting some blood out of the side of his mouth.. "Heh… nice shot."

Alvin grinned. "Thanks."

With a swift turn on his heel, Alvin dashed out of the room and down the stairs. Before dashing out the door, he stopped dead in his tracks, a voice catching his ear.

"Alvin? Dinner's ready!" Dave said with a bright smile, wiping his hands on the pink apron wrapped around his waist. "It's your favorite! Sunflower seed casserole with a hint of cinnamon… just how you like it."

Alvin's heart ached as he stared into Dave's unknowing eyes. "Er… I—"

"Al?"

Alvin turned, his brother, Theodore, staring up at him from his wheelchair. "Where are you going, bro?"

Alvin's lip quivered. His brother's turquoise eyes cut into his very soul. Sorrow… grief… regret… a rainbow of emotions reflected upon him.

Alvin forced himself to speak. "I'm… going out. Sorry, guys."

Theodore frowned with disappointment. "Oh… okay then. Seeya later, Al." he said, understanding that he should respect his brother's wishes. He smiled lightly. "Come back soon, okay?"

Alvin hesitated. "Y-yeah… sure thing, dude." He ruffled his brother's hair. "Promise me to take care of Simon while I'm gone… okay?"

Theodore raised a brow, puzzled. "Huh? Why do you—"

Before he could finish his question, Alvin slipped out the door and out of sight down the driveway.

Theodore frowned. "Alvin's been acting really weird lately… Why does he want me to take care of Simon…?"

Just then, Theodore's bespectacled brother staggered to the top of the stairs, a small stream of blood running down his jaw. "Hey Theo… a lil' help here?"

Without warning, Simon collapsed to the ground and fell silent.

_-End Chapter 1-_

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**PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY WE'RE JUST HAVING FUN alsfkj;skfdfklsfj we're so getting flames for this oh lawd**

**Chapter 2 soon! o:  
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	2. Airplanes

**Sorry for the long wait, but we have finally found time to get back to this masterpiece. Same Disclaimer as last chapter. We don't own anything blah blah blah.**

_Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?_

_I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now_

A month had passed since Alvin had left the abode of the Sevilles. No telephone calls, no letters... it was as if he had disappeared off of the face of the earth. And what killed Simon the most was that Dave and Theodore still thought he was just out taking a walk.

Simon was sitting at the breakfast table that morning, enjoying a new recipe Dave had concocted called Alfalfa Sprout Omelettes. Theodore sat beside him in his wheelchair, watching as his mushed up food flowed down the g-tube connected to his stomach. "I wish there were tastebuds in my intestines..." Theodore said half-heartedly, eyeing Simon's omelette. Ever since Alvin had run over Theodore's legs, he could never eat orally again. The damage to his legs was just too great.

Suddenly, Theodore's eyes lit up, and he pointed wildly down at his feet. "Si! Si! Look! I think my foot just twitched!" Theodore cried, looking at his brother with joyous eyes. Simon glanced down at the mangled feet of his brother and forced a smile. He had accidently kicked Theodore's foot just moments ago, but he didn't have the heart to tell his crippled brother the truth.

"That's great, Theo!" Simon said, patting his brother on the head. "Maybe you can go out for the Special Olympics this year!"

Theodore grinned widely at the thought. "Do you think so? Oh, that would be so much fun!" he said with a longing sigh. "Do you think Alvin would come and see me?"

Simon tensed at the name of his delinquent brother, slamming down his fork on the table. "THEODORE ROOSEVELT SEVILLE, DON'T EVER MENTION THAT NAME IN THIS HOUSE! I thought we agreed that Alvin is dead to this family!" He unconsciously grabbed at the healing wound on his stomach that Alvin had left him before his departure.

Theodore shrunk back slightly in his wheelchair, his eyes growing wide and frightened at his brother's harsh tone. "S-sorry Si, I was just-"

Just then, Dave sauntered into the room, a phone to one ear and a large mixing bowl with chocolate batter and various nuts in his arms. "I told you Mrs. Miller, I don't want to hook my boys up with your Chipettes! Brittany is a little skank for Christ's sake!" he paused for a moment, rolling his eyes. "Hold on a moment, I have another call on the line..." Dave shifted the phone on his shoulder, reaching up and pressing a button to receive the waiting call. "Hello, this is the Seville residence, Dave speaking..." He grew silent as he listened to the voice on the other end of the phone.

"_Hello... father..."_

_When you're staring at that phone in your lap _

_And hopin' but them people never call you back _

_But that's just how the story unfolds _

Dave's eyes widened, the mixing bowl in his arms falling to the ground with a shatter. Theodore gasped at the sight, leaping from his wheelchair with all the power his arms could muster and diving upon the chocolatey, nuttness and stuffing it in his cheeks for later storage. He glanced up at Dave quizzically.

"Dave, what-"

Dave held up a hand, looking down at his crippled, chocolate-covered chipmunk child. "It's... Alvin..."

Simon's glared daggers, slamming his knife into the table and dashing into the living room to pick up the other phone. "ALVIN, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU-" he hissed, but was quickly silenced by Alvin's low chuckles.

"Hey Si. How's the stomach?"

Simon gritted his teeth, trying his best not to blow up on his brother with Dave on the other line.

"Alvin, sweetheart, where are you?" Dave said. "I thought you would be back for dinner, but you never came... You missed out on a great new recipe-"

"I'm in Europe." Alvin interrupted.

Simon and Dave's mouths dropped.

_Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?_

_I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now_

**to be continued...**

A/N:

HELLOOO sorry for the super long wait! Thanks so much for the nice reviews! We're glad you guys can take a joke. We know this a really stupid story, trust us! It's supposed to be!

Remember to leave us a review! We love reading them! No flames pleaseee~


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